I said brrrr, it's cold in here. I said there must be some tension in the atmosphere.
The Kansas City Current mutually parted ways earlier this month with sporting director and former head coach Vlatko Andonovski, who is also well known for his stint as USWNT manager during the 2020 Olympics and the team's failure at the 2023 World Cup. And the press release? Well, that was about as dull, emotionless, and brief of a read as the back of a shampoo bottle. In fact, that's doing a disservice to the shampoo bottle. At least the shampoo might be talking about the oil from an Australian macadamia nut leaving your hair bouncier than a kangaroo. That's exciting.
Absolutely no one read the press release and thought, "Wow, what an appropriately moving tribute for a guy who expanded our trophy cabinet."
Everywhere I turn...BOOM, red flag. Players coming out of the woodwork to sing his praises as a coaching talent and an upstanding human...great for Andonovski, but when the club isn't sharing in that praise?...BOOM, red flag. A four-sentence press release? Technically, it states the facts, but also, have you read it? BOOM, red flag.
So I've taken it upon myself to write a slightly more appropriate (yet equally confusing) announcement regarding his departure, with a few embellishments that you would absolutely (not) find in a standard press release.
I give you the Vlatko Andonovski press release that doesn't omit everything he accomplished
It is with a heavy heart that we part ways with the winningest coach in Kansas City Current history, Vlatko Andonovski. Indeed, as we fight it out in the middle of the table and play the "will they, won't they" game with the playoffs, we send the man who took us from zero to hero packing to help lift another club in our very same league to great heights.
Why? Nobody knows.
His recruiting skills, you ask? Do Temwa Chawinga, MVP, and Golden Boot mean anything to you? Good, because they meant something to us too, until they didn't.
His good character? The players speak highly of him. They trust him. That meant something to us too, until it didn't.
His soccer smarts? His tactics that led us to a historic 65 point season? Well, you get the picture.
So, it is with great relief, with the facts laid out bare before you, that we know you'll finally see what we see and come to the same conclusion that we had no choice in the matter but to bid farewell to one of the NWSL's top coaches and soccer minds, the man who has so proudly made Kansas City his adopted home, Vlatko Andonovski.
Add us as a preferred source on Google